Railway Station Species

Waiting at a railway station for your train to arrive can be quite a pakau time. Thanks to the great Indian railways, hardly any EMU’s arrive on time. So next time you are waiting for your 8.57 CST local to arrive and there are no signs of any train in sight, just take a glance around and check out these weirdos.

The ‘Ghadiator’ – This guy is our regular office goer who catches only a fixed train everyday. Spotted with a briefcase in hand and a mobile, which is always ringing, he travels by the first class in other words he is the sophisticated traveller. The main attraction of his act is that he will be seen glancing at the giant clock on the platform every two seconds because his train hasn’t arrived on time. He probably believes that looking at the clock the train would arrive faster. Even all this years of travelling in local trains, his optimistic attitude hasn’t changed. A salute to the true spirit of Mumbai.

Crowd Hai Na: These species pride themselves on never travelling in overcrowded trains even if it is at peak hours. They are allergic to the dhakka mukhi of the aam junta and will wait for many trains to go by before they finally find one which is not as houseful as the previous ones. Their most comic act is getting up everytime a train arrives and going back to their benches when they realise it is too crowded. Will mainly be spotted with their children and family members.

Romeo & Juliet: These species should undoubtedly be part of the Ripley’s Believe it or not show. It’s amazing but true that for these couples, Railway station is the most romantic and happening place in town. Can be spotted at a cosy bench at the end of a station. Will constantly be seen fiddling with each other’s hair, hand, face and what not!!! Oblivious of the fact that there are people are over watching them, they stay on for hours until they realise they have missed their train and hurry back to their destinations.

The ‘Chattar-Pattar’ group: These men can be found in a group of five to ten scattered all over the station. They are mostly bhaiyyas who have an expert opinion on every topic from movies to politics. The only means of entertainment for the public while waiting for a train is to listen to their hilarious conversations. Hamare gaon mein aisan hota to….., aur waisna hota to. What makes it even more interesting is that there is always opposition to the person airing his views and it is a semi-parliament type atmosphere, the only difference being the absence of chairs and tables. Can be spotted at most stations. Listening to their non-stop chattar-pattar, one gets the feeling they are allergic to keeping their mouth shut.

The Ultimate Scholar: Considers himself the most literate person on earth. Will never take his eyes of his paper even for a second. He might not get a proper place to stand in an overcrowded station but will somehow manage to open his newspaper and continues to read it until the train stops at the platform. These species are easy meat for pickpockets as they are so engrossed in their reading activity that they don’t even realise their pocket is being picked.

The Sleeper Class: No they don’t travel by the sleeper class as unfortunately there aren’t any in local trains. But these people make up for it by catching forty winks at the station. They are veteran train travellers and know exactly when the train will arrive. Just like a tiger smells his prey from a distance, they too can make up when the train is about to arrive at the platform through the surgandh of the local engines, which is like amrit jaal to them as they have spent half their lives travelling in them. Will always be spotted sleeping with their mouths open for some unknown reason. Create ample space for mosquitoes to rest for sometime as the stations are too overcrowded even for these tiny species.

The Indian Idle: This species is the regular train traveller who is too lazy to do anything to make an entry into the elite group of species mentioned above. Will just be seen glancing around suspiciously at each and every damn thing and at the end of the day will put down his observations for all you Mumbaites to read.